Sometimes, you just want an educational toy with the ability to make people go “aww” and “what the hell” at the same time.

Introducing giant microbe plushes! Made of durable and huggable material, these little guys come in adorable forms such as: brain cell, common cold, E. coli, herpes, mono, penicillin, MRSA (with a Dracula cape), fat cell, flesh eating disease (carries its own dinnerware), the clap, chicken pox (complete with red comb), Lyme disease, HIV, staph, pneumonia, anthrax, and even mad cow disease!

Look at that little dude! He looks so pissed! I wanna buy that little guy so I can cuddle him and scare my husband.

All right, some of you folks might be thinking that this is some pretty weird, and even offensive, crap. But judging from the reviews, plenty of customers like these plushes. They even come with informative cards that detail the illness’s traits or the medicine’s uses.

But I think the product description says it best (and not just because I can’t think of anything else to say about these things):

Most folks never realize how cute microbes can be when expanded 1,000,000 times and then fashioned into cuddly plush. Until now, that is. Keep one on your desktop to remind yourself that there is an “invisible” universe out there filled with very small things that can do incredible damage to much bigger things. Then go and wash your hands. Lather, rinse, repeat.

I’m developing open, weeping sores just thinking about buying one of these guys!